It’s summer time pretty people!

That means there are lots of fun things to do in and about town including shows and videos!

The Gentlemen of Long Pork are keeping busy too. Aside from gearing up for Sketchfest NYC and our big road trip for it. We’re excited to announce we have a Improv show coming up next week at the Playground!

Wednesday May 26th 8pm. $10

The Playground Theater
3209 N Halsted
Chicago, IL 60657

Seeing as it’s improv it’s going to be COMPLETELY new material. This is only our second show improvising together here in Chicago so come see us!

Okay aside from that you should also check out our good friend Devin Keast in his one man show:

Devin Keast, Gentleman and Sunshineface - Friday night May 28th. This will be his closing night, it’s also $10 and also at the Playground. Devin is great, if you went to our Harold Ramis show you’ve already seen him perform and fill in for Seth. So how could you not go?

If you’re not doing anything this weekend you should check out some dramatic theater completely unassociated with Long Pork:

Sinnerman Ensemble’s Days of Late – Now playing at the Viaduct and closing this weekend. Sinnerman is a local not for profit theater company here in Chicago out of Steppenwolf, awesome people, some of which donated to help get us to NY  so go see their show!

John Morrison – (our photographer, webmaster, promoter and jack-of-all-things-not-performing-or-writing) has launched a new photo blog of his street photography for the Tribune. You should take a look: Focal Points.

Zoran – Put out a new video on LowCarbComedy.com! A few of us are in it (and by a few we mean everyone associated with Long Pork except Morgan and Seth.) So you should go watch that.

Actually… ya know what, since we’re such generous guys… here you go, we’ll just embed it for you. Here’s the link just in case.

Oh yeah… then there is this. But we’ll talk more about that later.

Okay pretty people, we’re done telling you what to do for now. Enjoy your summer!

Basically dinosaurs and time travel are my, Zoran Horatio Rodriguez Gvojic’s, go to improv topics.  Whether it’s a scene about a southern family, or scene about a family from the south, I’ll find some way to take my “Yes and” crowbar and jimmy these topics into the dialogue.  Why do I do it you ask?

Well it all started in a small town in Helen, Georgia where my Uncle Triceratops fell off of a toilet seat and invented the flux capacitor.  You see what I did there?  I just improvised a backstory that involved both time travel and dinosaurs.  It’s a sickness I tell you!  If only there were some way to go back and stop myself from ever making a dinosaur time travel reference in an improv scene….

OH WAIT!  There is!

(Running sounds)

(Car door opening sound)

(Time circuits turning on sound)

(Zoran explaining “This is wearing you’re going, this is where you are, this is where you were” to the audience sound)

(Ignition and tire squealing sound)

(Car Acceleration sound)

(Car accelerating past 80mph sound)

(Car accelerating past 85mph sound)

(Car accelerating past 86mph sound)

(Car accelerating past 87mph sound)

(Car hitting a brick wall at 88mph sound)

(Lonely car burning sound)

(Ambulance sound)

(Horrified Medic saying, “MY GOD!” sound)

(Zoran’s remains being zipped up in a coroner’s bag sound AKA a zipper sound)

(Parents planning a funeral sound)

(Funeral being interrupted by a herd of Gallimimus (Veggisaurus) sound)

(Parents selling the rights to Zoran’s story to Steven Spielberg and Robert Zemeckis sound)

(690 Million Dollar box office opening sound)

(Zoran being slapped in the back of the head by Lee, Seth, Charley, and Zack for writing this blog post sound)

—–END TRANSMISSION—–

The other night I went to the Kit Kat Lounge for some half price “Tini’s” with a few friends. They had a 2 page spread full of drinks with names only a stargazing teenage girl could dream up. “Snickerdoodle”, “Lavalamp”, and “Bradley Cooper” were all among the ranks, though to me they were worth only a taster’s sip. I could barely finish my “Black Widow”. Next time I’ll be sure to stick to the straight up Martini.
Oh, and I was molested by Tina Turner. This video is round 1. IF round 2 had been taped, you would be privy to the twisting of nipples — MINE– and an overall heightened sense of uncomfortableness.

Here it is:  Zack and Tina

Long Pork with Harold Ramis and Aaron Freeman, originally uploaded by reallocalcelebrity.

Hello friends! We just wanted to post a quick thank you to everyone who came out to last night’s show with Harold Ramis and Aaron Freeman.

Special thanks to Emanuel Congregation for having us, especially Leah Jones and the amazing (and funny) Rabbi Zedek.

Extra special thanks to you, our fans, new and old. Without you we are nothing!

Stay tuned friends we should have some new show announcements coming soon.

Hello Pretty People

We were featured on Beyond the Pedway today where we talked about sketch comedy, why we do it and the anatomy of a Long Pork show.

Also, tomorrow is the big day! Tomorrow night we are opening for Mr. Harold Ramis!

Here are the details:

Saturday March 20th, 2010
7:30pm – 9:30pm

Emanuel Congregation
5959 N. Sheridan Rd.
Chicago, IL 60660

You can buy tickets here and if you use the discount code of “LongPork” you’ll save $10. However, we’ve found out that Gold Star Tickets is selling them for a low-low price of $20 so we’re not questioning it, check them out here.

Anyway, we can’t wait to see you folks tomorrow night. If we haven’t met you before, please take a moment to come say hi and introduce yourself, we love making new friends!

Ladies and Gentlemen,

We are insanely excited to have the honor to open for Harold Ramis at Emanuel Congregation this Saturday, March 20th at 7:30PM!

Harold Ramis will be joined by Aaron Freeman, a local Chicago comedian, who will lead their conversation on the meaning of life. No, big deal. Just the basics. Why are we here? What’s the reason we all love the smell of new markers? Why do dogs have better names than some kids? Simple questions I’m sure we’ve asked ourselves time and time again. Although, I imagine some of their questions may have more substance. Maybe.

Either way, we are excited and hope you can come out to see the show. It promises to be an amazing time.

You can purchase tickets from Brown Paper Tickets, use the code “longpork” for a discount!

You can also purchase tickets from Gold Star Tickets. They don’t mention anything about us, but trust us, we’ll be there.

We’ll see all of you pretty people there!

HOLY SMOKING POPES!! We will be apart of the 9th Annual San Francisco Comedy Festival!! DELICIOUS!

BOING!! BOUNCY! BOUNCY!! BOU-BOUNCY! BOUNCY!!! BOU-BOU-BOUNCY! BOUNCY!!!

We’ll stop bouncing off the walls before we continue.

BOUNCY! Bouncy. Bou-bouncy. boing… boing… and done.

Okay. All done.

Whew.

Now we should start packing our bags and looking for flights. Oh, well, the festival is a little ways off so… we’ll unpack our bags and refrain from packing until a more appropriate date. Let’s look at sometime early January for packing. However we’ll need to go back in time and tell our past selves to book flights well in advance so as to get the best rates possible for interstate travel.

Book early. Pack late. That’s our motto.

Although, we also have some other pretty sweet motto’s. Like: “Take it to the limit or don’t take it at all” or, “I asked for clogs on this trout, not lemon butter”.

At any rate, this is a very exciting time and we could not be more thrilled to be apart of it.

BOUNCY!

Stopping.

For festival and ticket information, please follow this link: SF Sketchfest 2010!

HAPPY FOURTH NIGHT OF HANUKKAH, PRETTY PEOPLE!

Well, pretty people, we did it.

We have been accepted into the ninth annual largest sketch-comedy festival in the country! YES! JOY!! BOOYAH!!!

Now comes the tough part: What to wear? Because we don’t want to show up in the same outfits we wore before. We have to out do ourselves. We have to stand out. We need to sparkle like vampires in the sun. Diamond skin. We know we have a few things laying around but, everything looks so, festive. It’s as if everything we own makes us look like we are going to a party, or a wedding. We haven’t been to a party, or a wedding for that matter, in hours.

Should we wear these black suits, with those pink shirts, and red ties?

Mmmmm, no, no.

Maybe these black suits, with those pink shirts, and red ties?

Eeeeeee, nah, no, nope.

Ah-HA!

We’ll wear these black SUITS, with those pink SHIRTS, and red TIEZ!

FRAK YES!

Now we are cooking with a very unstable chemical that is on fire! That “Z” really helped. I love that letter sometimes.

For festival and ticket information, please visit Chicago Sketch Comedy Festival.

Hmmm, now to figure out which black shoez to wear…

Ha, there it is again.

Edgey.

Well, another Long Pork rehearsal has drawn to a close and with only minor casualties.  Comedy can kill y’all…especially ours as we discussed tonight. Just beware.

Lee and Seth have created a monster of a video that will never be made.  But trust me when I say, you would swallow a bucket of puppies to see this masterpiece…..Yeah you would…..hey, stop fighting me on this!  How would you know?

Zoran has written two great scripts, one of which calls upon a favorite Long Pork character!  Funny, it’s the only character he plays besides an occasional Graboid.

Zack was quiet….suspiciously quiet.

Charley laughed and cried, but never once got out of the hot tub.

So, it was just rehearsal as usual.

Oh and our DVD is done*!  YEA!!!!!

LP Out!

*Don’t get too excited, you’ll never see it.  Unless you own a theatre….then call us.