Friends it’s that time again! Chicago Sketchfest is back and so are we!
We know we’ve been any from the scene for a while and we’ve got some ‘splaining to do and we’ll be filling you in on what we’ve been up to in the coming weeks. For now though…
CHICAGO SKETCHFEST!!
4 years ago Long Pork debut as a team at the Chicago Sketchfest so this one is personal to us. With that in mind got a new show chock full of tons of new material!
We’re excited to say we don’t just have a new show… we have TWO new videos debuting at the show.
So you’re probably thinking “THAT SOUNDS AWESOME! WHEN? WHERE? HOW MUCH?”
Whoa, settle down. How does… Friday January 13th sound and $12 sound.
(aka tomorrow night if you’re reading this as it’s posted. Tonight if you’re reading this on Friday and yesterday if you’re… you get the point.)
That’s right… Friday January 13th at 11pm at the gloriously renovated Stage 773!
Tickets are still on sale but we anticipate that it may sell out on Friday night! Grab your tickets online or at the Sketchfest box office. and let us know you’re coming on Facebook.
Before the 4th Annual Zombie Pub Crawl, presented by pH Productions,John was behind his place when a very angry squirrel leaped upon his neck. The squirrel bit into his shoulder making him become one of the living dead.
Trust us. We have pictures.
Exhibit A: Zombie John
Once turned into a zombie, John decided he needed to tell Lee about all of the great things he’d learned. Lee saw John coming his way and ran away, hysterically waving his arms above his head. Unfortunately the same squirrel from earlier was started by this and attacked Lee too. Thus causing John to have a new zombie best friend. Although you’d think Lee would be ecstatic to be a zombie, he was not impressed.
Trust us. We have pictures.
Exhibit B: Unimpressed Zombie Lee
It didn’t take long for both of them to get thirsty. So they looked for a place to call their own. They found a home with a wonderful group to hang out with, The 4th Annual Zombie Pub Crawl, presented by pH Productions, and drank Blood Punch at Mary’s Attic (they also drank a bunch at The Call, Farragut’s, Simons, etc.). Dancing & sweating, John & Lee began to become human again. It looked like the Blood Punch at Mary’s was the cure to the squirrel bite.
Lessons learned. John & Lee now avoid squirrels.
They will never avoid The Zombie Pub Crawl, presented by pH Productions.
Help us win the Atom.com tournament by getting as many people to watch Zombie Chef as possible. If we win we could get a meeting with Comedy Central. We also get 500 bucks that would go towards funding future Zombie Chef episodes and our upcoming sketch run. So help us help the world become a more gentlemanly place.
We got to meet the very friendly, super handsome, I think we’re currently in love with, Kendall Bruns. Kendall was awesome enough to interview us for our upcoming Chicago Sketchfest 2011 show. Check it out here:
Also, we have been so busy creating our show that we have been remissed in our duties to let all you lovely people know that we HAVE A SHOW in CHICAGO SKETCHFEST 2011!! WHAT?! WHY ARE WE yelling. Okay. Back to normal.
Come out, tomorrow night to Stage 773 and see us perform at 9:30PM with the experimental GERMANS! Tickets $14. Get those here: GERMANS & LONG PORK
What? Huh?……You want to know why? Why would I hate this wonderful ice cream condiment? Why do I hate the sweet sensation of it on your tongue as I lick it off the fingers of a hooker, or much more likely in my case, as I cry alone at night in front of a really emotional episode of “Parenthood” Tuesday’s at 10/9c on NBC? Because of one word:
Splattertheater
Okay, let’s make that two words:
splatt ertheater
No, let’s move the “er” over:
splatter ertheat
No, I don’t think you understand, now move the other “er” to the end of the word:
For those not “in the know”, Splatter Theater is the brain child of a bunch of amazing Chicago improvisers. One night back in 1987, at Leona’s in Lakeview, they all got drunk and decided to do a Halloween show. They had two goals: make fun of all the great horror movies that were coming out at the time, while also covering the stage with blood. In one month they wrote and put up the Annoyance Theater‘s first show. It’s so fun we are still doing it 23 years later.
So if you have a Saturday night free and want to come please do! If you want to come and you want comps, call me, I get two a show. If you don’t have my number, there’s probably a reason for that.
I love you….unless you don’t have my number….there’s probably a reason for that.
We’re having a pretty good time right now. Writing new shows. Writing new videos. Making a weeklong tribute to SAW films.
“Hold the phone! We don’t like SAW! Why are we doing this!?”, the group pondered aloud.
“We’re not doing this. I am. I like SAW,” said Zoran quietly.
And then the blog continued…
That’s right, Zoran’s own LowCarbComedy is saying a fond farewell to SAW in style with a new SAW parody film everyday starting Oct. 25th and going until SAW 3D opens. Well, I kinda spoiled the trailer a bit. The trailer gives you all that same information. HOWEVER, it does it with a hell of a lot more style and hammer clangy noises.
That means there are lots of fun things to do in and about town including shows and videos!
The Gentlemen of Long Pork are keeping busy too. Aside from gearing up for Sketchfest NYC and our big road trip for it. We’re excited to announce we have a Improv show coming up next week at the Playground!
Wednesday May 26th 8pm. $10
The Playground Theater
3209 N Halsted
Chicago, IL 60657
Seeing as it’s improv it’s going to be COMPLETELY new material. This is only our second show improvising together here in Chicago so come see us!
Okay aside from that you should also check out our good friend Devin Keast in his one man show:
Devin Keast, Gentleman and Sunshineface - Friday night May 28th. This will be his closing night, it’s also $10 and also at the Playground. Devin is great, if you went to our Harold Ramis show you’ve already seen him perform and fill in for Seth. So how could you not go?
If you’re not doing anything this weekend you should check out some dramatic theater completely unassociated with Long Pork:
Sinnerman Ensemble’s Days of Late – Now playing at the Viaduct and closing this weekend. Sinnerman is a local not for profit theater company here in Chicago out of Steppenwolf, awesome people, some of which donated to help get us to NY so go see their show!
John Morrison – (our photographer, webmaster, promoter and jack-of-all-things-not-performing-or-writing) has launched a new photo blog of his street photography for the Tribune. You should take a look: Focal Points.
Zoran – Put out a new video on LowCarbComedy.com! A few of us are in it (and by a few we mean everyone associated with Long Pork except Morgan and Seth.) So you should go watch that.
Actually… ya know what, since we’re such generous guys… here you go, we’ll just embed it for you. Here’s the link just in case.
Oh yeah… then there is this. But we’ll talk more about that later.
Okay pretty people, we’re done telling you what to do for now. Enjoy your summer!
Tonight is our first-ever probably-not-annual fundraiser!
“Hit Yourself in The Face With a Guitar!”
Come party with us, check us out, hit on us, and maybe try to take one of us home.
The show is $10 and it’s a fundraiser to help us send Long Pork to Sketchfest New York City! We’ve already been accepted, now we just need to figure out how the frak we can afford to get there. (Yes, I said frak, thankyouverymuch.)
In all seriousness we’ve got a great show for you folks tonight and we’re really excited to see all your smiling faces. For your $10 you’ll get to see two awesome bands who are graciously donating their time for us:
On top of that we’re really excited to announce that we’re partnering with Social Media Club Chicago and are an official after-party for tonight’s SMC meeting! So come, socialize, rock out, network and have a great time! There will also be raffles where we will be giving away some amazing prizes. It’s all to support a really great cause (us) so come on down and have a good time. Maybe we’ll buy you a drink!*
Also, if you can’t make it tonight, or it’s now Friday and you’re just now seeing this in Google Reader you can still help us out by donating: via PayPal.
Here’s the details:
The HideOut
1354 W. Wabansia Ave
Doors open at 8, show begins at 9
*If you give us the money to buy it and one for us each. Sorry we’re poor, hence the fundraiser.
WE say:
YOU SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT….Did I tell you to talk again!?! DO NOT make me come over there.
YOU say:
(weep)
WE say:
Oh God, Baby, we’re sorry we flipped out like that. You know we love you. We love you so much. We’re just on edge because we’re so excited that we get to do some amazing comedy stage readings at the HideOut this week. There will be prizes…you like prizes don’t you baby?
YOU say:
(weep) y-yes…
WE say:
And we’re gonna have two amazing bands play: Common Shiner and the BareHand JugBand playing with us. Common Shiner is voiced by Morgan Foster and is one of Chicago’s favorite pop/rock bands. Shhhh….calm down. You remember Morgan right?
YOU say:
You mean Long Pork’s stage manager?
WE say:
Yep! See, you’re okay! And BareHand JugBand is one of the greatest Jug Bands in the country, or so says the Minneapolis Battle of the Jug Bands! They are also an attractive band from thier spunky lady singers, to thier sassy Jug Player, and all the well dressed pluckin and slidin’ gentlemen folk inbetween. Does this sound like a good time to you? huh?
YOU say:
Well, I had plans on Thurs…
WE say:
But you’re gonna?….YOU’RE GONNA!?!?
YOU scream in fear:
SKIP THEM! I’M GONNA SKIP THEM!
WE say:
See…I love you.
RECAP!
What?: “Hit Yourself In The Face With A Guitar!” a night of comedy stage readings by the Gentlemen of Long Pork. Featuring performances by Common Shiner and the BareHand Jug Band. Where?: The HideOut (1354 W. Wabansia Ave, 60642) When?: Doors open at 8, show begins at 9 Why?: We love performing for you, there will be drink specials, lots of prizes to give away, and to raise monies for our NYC show! Huh?: See now you are just asking questions to be silly. Silly pretty people.
Basically dinosaurs and time travel are my, Zoran Horatio Rodriguez Gvojic’s, go to improv topics. Whether it’s a scene about a southern family, or scene about a family from the south, I’ll find some way to take my “Yes and” crowbar and jimmy these topics into the dialogue. Why do I do it you ask?
Well it all started in a small town in Helen, Georgia where my Uncle Triceratops fell off of a toilet seat and invented the flux capacitor. You see what I did there? I just improvised a backstory that involved both time travel and dinosaurs. It’s a sickness I tell you! If only there were some way to go back and stop myself from ever making a dinosaur time travel reference in an improv scene….
OH WAIT! There is!
(Running sounds)
(Car door opening sound)
(Time circuits turning on sound)
(Zoran explaining “This is wearing you’re going, this is where you are, this is where you were” to the audience sound)
(Ignition and tire squealing sound)
(Car Acceleration sound)
(Car accelerating past 80mph sound)
(Car accelerating past 85mph sound)
(Car accelerating past 86mph sound)
(Car accelerating past 87mph sound)
(Car hitting a brick wall at 88mph sound)
(Lonely car burning sound)
(Ambulance sound)
(Horrified Medic saying, “MY GOD!” sound)
(Zoran’s remains being zipped up in a coroner’s bag sound AKA a zipper sound)
(Parents planning a funeral sound)
(Funeral being interrupted by a herd of Gallimimus (Veggisaurus) sound)
(Parents selling the rights to Zoran’s story to Steven Spielberg and Robert Zemeckis sound)
(690 Million Dollar box office opening sound)
(Zoran being slapped in the back of the head by Lee, Seth, Charley, and Zack for writing this blog post sound)
