Hey Pretty People,

Well, it’s been a good year for us. We’ve performed at two festivals, put up some new videos, and started to perform a few improv shows. We’re concentrating on videos for the rest of the year, but we’ll be having an improv show at Stage 773 as part of SMUSH! on April 19th. Hosted by the lovely Liz McArthur, SMUSH! is a comedy extravaganza featuring sketch, imrpov, & stand-up comedy all on one stage. Party starts at 8:00PM. Hope to see you there. Check out the loverly details here: Stage 773

In other fun news, tomorrow (or today depending on when you’re reading this, possibly even yesterday) is Record Store Day! A celebration of all things record and store and vinyl. If you’d like to join us, we’ll be starting at Reckless Records on Broadway at 10AM to hunt for awesome tunes and whatever treats are at each store. Because of course you have to check out more than one! If you can’t join us, we hope you celebrate Record Store Day in your own way. PARTY!

Here’s a link to find out what’s going on around your neck of the woods!

RECORD STORE DAY – Home

We here at Long Pork love comics. We love them so much–that we make ‘em, or at least pop up in them.

One such pop up is I, Lee Russell, your friend. I am a comic book character! I am IN a COMIC BOOK! Crazy, right!? But it’s true. I have the pleasure to be apart of the amazing book, INFINITE VACATION. Thanks to the talented photographer/artist/overall badass, Kendall Bruns, I got to bring a childhood dream to life by actually being in a comic. CHECK IT OUT!

Now, I have to admit that I’m the reason a couple of comic book shops are sold out, BUT if you can find copies of issues #1 & #2, buy them. You will not regret it. The art is playful and the story is wonderful. I won’t ruin anything. Just check it out and enjoy the vacation.

Image Comics | Home

Also check out Mr.Kendall Bruns blog & podcast! We like him and we know you will too.

Kendall Bruns

So, I was IN a comic, but Zoran WRITES his own comic! MYSTERY AFOOT!

It’s Lowcarbcomedy.com’s first comic! Written by Zoran Gvojic & Dave Schneider, Art by Max Bare.

If you ever wondered what would happen if Big Foot and Loch Ness Monster got together and formed a detective agency, this book answers that question. It’s a comic fantasy like nothing out there. You can read it online for FREE! What? Yup. FREE! A new page every Wednesday and more laughs than one man can handle, so read it with friends.

You can check out MYSTERY AFOOT here:
Mystery Afoot: A Lowcarbcomedy.com Comic Book – Bigfoot and Nessie open a detective agency to find other myths.

Well that’s it for now.

Oh, and there’s one more thing: Lastly, but certainly not leastly, see Mr.Charley Carroll tomorrow night (or tonight, or yesterday, depending when you’re reading this) in CO-ED PRISON SLUTS! at The Annoyance Theater in Uptown, at Lawrence & Broadway. Show starts at 10:01PM! It’s Chicago’s longest running musical and Charley is in fine form delivering the funny. Go see it & learn a thing or two.

Talk to you later pretty people.

Hey all,

Charley here with a special announcement:

I HATE chocolate syrup.  HATE IT.

Thank you.

What?  Huh?……You want to know why?  Why would I hate this wonderful ice cream condiment?  Why do I hate the sweet sensation of it on your tongue as I lick it off the fingers of a hooker, or much more likely in my case, as I cry alone at night in front of a really emotional episode of “Parenthood” Tuesday’s at 10/9c on NBC?  Because of one word:

Splattertheater

Okay, let’s make that two words:

splatt ertheater

No, let’s move the “er” over:

splatter ertheat

No, I don’t think you understand, now move the other “er” to the end of the word:

splfuck youer

You know what, I’ll just write it….SPLATTER THEATER.

For those not “in the know”, Splatter Theater is the brain child of a bunch of amazing Chicago improvisers. One night back in 1987,  at Leona’s in Lakeview, they all got drunk and decided to do a Halloween show.   They had two goals: make fun of all the great horror movies that were coming out at the time, while also covering the stage with blood.  In one month they wrote and put up the Annoyance Theater‘s first show.  It’s so fun we are still doing it 23 years later.

So if you have a Saturday night free and want to come please do!  If you want to come and you want comps, call me, I get two a show.  If you don’t have my number, there’s probably a reason for that.

I love you….unless you don’t have my number….there’s probably a reason for that.

Charley

Hello Pretty People!

We’re having a pretty good time right now. Writing new shows. Writing new videos. Making a weeklong tribute to SAW films.

“Hold the phone! We don’t like SAW! Why are we doing this!?”, the group pondered aloud.

“We’re not doing this. I am. I like SAW,” said Zoran quietly.

And then the blog continued…

That’s right, Zoran’s own LowCarbComedy is saying a fond farewell to SAW in style with a new SAW parody film everyday starting Oct. 25th and going until SAW 3D opens. Well, I kinda spoiled the trailer a bit. The trailer gives you all that same information. HOWEVER, it does it with a hell of a lot more style and hammer clangy noises.

ENJOY!!

Hello one and all,

It is I!  The omnipresent blog voice of Long Pork with another chance to see Long Pork in all it’s Cannibalistic Glory!  We are in the TBS Just for Laughs festival as part of the Sketch-travaganza: Best of Sketchfest section.  Here are the details:

Saturday June 19th
8:00 pm
Studio BE
3110 N Sheffield Ave
Chicago, IL
Buy Tickets

Also our very own Zoran Gvojic is doing a showing of his videos featured on Lowcarbcomedy.com as part of Lights, Camera, Action, CUT: Comedic Short Film.  Here are the details for that:

Thursday June 17th
9:00 PM
The Lincoln Lodge
4008 N Lincoln Ave
Chicago, IL 60618
Buy Tickets

So come to both, come to one, but make sure not to come to none.  Yes, I’m proud of that rhyme.

It’s summer time pretty people!

That means there are lots of fun things to do in and about town including shows and videos!

The Gentlemen of Long Pork are keeping busy too. Aside from gearing up for Sketchfest NYC and our big road trip for it. We’re excited to announce we have a Improv show coming up next week at the Playground!

Wednesday May 26th 8pm. $10

The Playground Theater
3209 N Halsted
Chicago, IL 60657

Seeing as it’s improv it’s going to be COMPLETELY new material. This is only our second show improvising together here in Chicago so come see us!

Okay aside from that you should also check out our good friend Devin Keast in his one man show:

Devin Keast, Gentleman and Sunshineface - Friday night May 28th. This will be his closing night, it’s also $10 and also at the Playground. Devin is great, if you went to our Harold Ramis show you’ve already seen him perform and fill in for Seth. So how could you not go?

If you’re not doing anything this weekend you should check out some dramatic theater completely unassociated with Long Pork:

Sinnerman Ensemble’s Days of Late – Now playing at the Viaduct and closing this weekend. Sinnerman is a local not for profit theater company here in Chicago out of Steppenwolf, awesome people, some of which donated to help get us to NY  so go see their show!

John Morrison – (our photographer, webmaster, promoter and jack-of-all-things-not-performing-or-writing) has launched a new photo blog of his street photography for the Tribune. You should take a look: Focal Points.

Zoran – Put out a new video on LowCarbComedy.com! A few of us are in it (and by a few we mean everyone associated with Long Pork except Morgan and Seth.) So you should go watch that.

Actually… ya know what, since we’re such generous guys… here you go, we’ll just embed it for you. Here’s the link just in case.

Oh yeah… then there is this. But we’ll talk more about that later.

Okay pretty people, we’re done telling you what to do for now. Enjoy your summer!

Hello Pretty People,

Our friends at Bughouse Theater have graciously invited us to show a video at their monthly “BugHouse Short Film Contest!”.

Last time we showed “VAMPIRES:THE MOVIE” and won second place.

This time we are showing “ZOMBIE CHEF”! I have a sneaking suspicion that this time the crowd will favor us even more because everyone loves Christmas!

What? –innocent look

That doesn’t make sense to you? Zombies. Christmas. Hello? It’s like peanut butter & chocolate. Their perfect together! Come on… I’m… I’m not alone on this.

Guys, back me up.

crickets… crickets…

Guys?

crickets…

WELL, enough jabber from me– ON TO THE DETAILS:

The Upstairs of Mullen’s Bar & Grill in Wrigleyville
[3527 N. Clark Street Chicago, Illinois 60657-- call for more info. (773) 325-2319]
Tickets are $10
Doors open at 8:00PM.

The price you pay at the door goes to help Bughouse Theater raise money to get their own space.
Oh, what is BugHouse Theater, you ask? Well, BugHouse Theater is an up-and-coming theater company here in Chicago that may or may not love us enough to put some of our own shows up someday.

–PUPPY EYES, give them the PUPPY EYES–

To find out more check out www.bughousetheater.com.

So come out and have some fun, drinks, and laughs with us at Mullen’s.

Until next time– Much love.

Hello Pretty People,

Voting is over for the Chicago Metromix “So You Think You Can Funny?” Contest.

We’d like to thank everyone that voted for us and to everyone that voted each day. We really appreciate the love and support. It was really down to the wire. We had a strong lead in the beginning, 13%, eventually dipping down lower and lower. We ended at 7%. Which is amazing when you think about it. A lot of people didn’t even get a percentage.

In short, we feel the love.

Somebody likes us… And it’s you.

And you want to know something… We like you too.

To find out the end-END results, check back on Dec.7th right.

In the meantime, we are working hard on new material, and new video’s, and new words for new. So that way when you come back to visit, you at least know a new word for new.

So, get ready for some more tasty Long Pork!

Hello Pretty People!

It’s time to vote for the funniest video in the “So You Think You Can Funny?” Contest for The Second City & Metromix Chicago!

Exciting! Dangerous! Wondrous! We are really exhilarated to be in the running and now we need your votes to be in the Top 5. We’d love to be in the top 5 (who wouldn’t?) and be seen by a panel of Second City alumnus — Fred Willard, Rachel Dratch, Jeff Garlin and Mick Napier!

It goes without saying, but sometimes it’s nice to say, how much we love all of you for the support you give to us.

We would also like to give a shout out to our man, Zoran Gvojic, for his video “Cell Phone P.S.A.“, which is great. So, on the off chance you don’t love “Vampires: The Movie“, at least your vote can go to one of The Gentlemen.

But, as much as we love Zoran, vote for “Vampires: The Movie“.

So to recap:
Vote for “Vampires: The Movie“.
We love Zoran.
Oh, and vote for “Vampires: The Movie” and show The Gentlemen of Long Pork some love!

Your Friends,
The Gentlemen

Hello Lovers,

So as you might have guessed from the title of this post, Long Pork won second place.  “At what!?!” you may ask.  Maybe a free flow dancing contest, a how much weight do you lose after taking a dump contest, or even a which is better: Apple, Microsoft, or Long Pork contest.  Well it was none of those!  I’ll tell you what it was right (BANG!)….

I’m sorry to interrupt this blog message, but that man had to die.  He was evil and didn’t deserve to live, but now he has left us with an unfortunate cliff hanger.  What could Long Pork have possible won second place in?  Maybe it was (BANG!)….(BANG, BANG,BANG!).

Sorry everyone, I’m not dead as you originally thought.  I was only faking it until my evil twin Philip took his attention off me.  As I was saying:

LONG PORK took second in the first monthly “BugHouse Short Film Contest!”.  “Vampires: The Movie” came in a close second (the other film had more people there to vote).  We are super proud of our little film and it’s writer, our amazing Zack. 

Oh what is BugHouse?  BugHouse is an up-and-coming theatre here in Chicago.  It’s a great project that everyone should get behind.  To find out more check out www.bughousetheater.com.

Also, look out for “Vampires” to make it’s way into a certain Second City contest for short films (more to be announced soon)!

And lastly, if you stubbled upon this posting and it’s still Friday, November 6th before 10pm and you are looking for some entertainment, LP’s very own Charley Carroll will be performing in “Co-ed Prison Sluts!” at the Annoyance Theatre in Uptown tonight.  Go listen to him sing the high notes and croon the low notes, vibrating all the right bones in your body.

Oh yes, and the $5,000,000 dollars that LP stole from the bank is buried right over at 222 M (BANG!)

LP

Pretty self explanatory, Zoran’s got some good stuff in the works for Long Pork in the future as well… or so he says.